Rearranging Atoms

Chemistry. It’s a word we associate with great relationships, usually used to describe a really strong connection between two people. There’s even a dating website called chemistry.com, because it’s what so many of us are looking for. In describing relationships chemistry metaphors extend even beyond the word chemistry. When people talk about fireworks, a common way to describe what people with an intense connection feel when they’re together, they’re talking about chemistry too; in fact, the sounds, colors, and heat produced by fireworks are all a result of chemical reactions. Chemistry can also characterize the failure of two people to connect. Saying that two people mix like oil and water, in other words don’t mix at all, is a chemistry reference as well.

Chemistry metaphors can even represent divorce. For many of us it’s difficult to imagine dividing our families even if we’re unhappy. It was once similarly believed that the nucleus of an atom could not be divided, but nuclear fission – the splitting of atoms – was eventually achieved. And so too, do many of us reach the conclusion that the nucleus of our families can, in fact, be split.

But this blog is about the space between fireworks and nuclear fission – when a marriage isn’t meeting the needs of both partners but they don’t want to see their family go up in flames. It’s about the creative solutions people are finding to the stay-or-go dilemma and the positive outcomes they’re realizing. It’s about rearranging atoms, because theoretically, if you rearrange the atoms of coal you can create a diamond. Realizing that a marriage isn’t what you hoped it would be may be difficult and disappointing, but it doesn’t need to be a tragedy. In fact, people everywhere are finding new arrangements more rewarding than the original one, turning what began to feel like a lump of coal into something with a brilliant sparkle.

There’s a quiet revolution going on. Let’s talk about it…

(More soon to come.)