Comment on New York Times magazine article “Ellen Barkin is No Uptown Girl” by Alex Witchel, April 22, 2011
As I see the writing on the wall, the fact that my husband and I are heading toward separation, I take particular solace any time I come across someone describing an amicable split — especially when kids are involved. In this weekend’s NY Times magazine, actress Ellen Barkin talks about how she and her ex-husband, actor Gabriel Byrne, continued to celebrate their kids’ birthdays together — even their own birthdays together –long after their marriage ended. “Any time I cook a holiday meal, Gabriel comes here, and Christmas is usually his holiday, so then I go there,” Barkin said. “I don’t think a marriage has to last forever to be successful, and I think we had a good marriage and we managed to keep what was good about it alive for 25 years.” Every marriage does have some positives, things you shared, a spark that brought you together, and in some cases, kids you created whom you hope will thrive even when your marriage could not. That is my hope as I face uncertainty and concern about how my family will reconfigure after we separate. It’s a dream of mine that my son will have both parents at his birthday parties, at his important school events, and even at holiday meals. Parents don’t need to live together to share special occasions and provide their kids with as much love as they can on special occasions. That’s an act of selflessness that I hope we both can manage. Have you been able to have family meals or birthdays together with your ex for the sake of the kids? How has this worked for you?
– ahappyalchemist
