Dear Ahappyalchemist,
YOU are your own knight in shining armor, you know that? We’ve discussed this concept before in relation to a friend, but I’m not sure you see that you, too, are rescuing yourself. I’ve been watching you trudge grimly toward divorce, wishing there was some other way. I know the realities of your situation have challenged your efforts to stay positive and you’ve felt bad about that. But I want you to know that I’m inspired by what I’ve seen. So let me tell you a thing or two about yourself…
You are brave. Ending a marriage when you have a child is just plain scary — there is so much uncertainty. It’s hard to know how to slay a dragon you’ve never seen before and a lesser woman might not even try, but you’ve charged boldly into the fray. When asked if one can still be brave if she’s scared, as wise person once said “that is the only time one can be brave.” I’m not sure who that wise person was, but I love the notion and I think it applies to you.
You are strong. Your quest is to create the life that you and your son deserve, and it’s not for the weak of heart. The easier road may be to just leave well enough alone, but to those who accept great risk comes the chance of great reward. It’s been hard on you I know, but you’re persevering and it’s because of your strength that you’re going to find what you seek.
You are loyal. You’ve been such a good friend to me as I navigate my own separation, picking me up when I’m down and celebrating with me when things are looking up. Despite your own struggle you’ve found it in you to encourage me, and I know you have my back no matter what challenges I might have to face.
You are honorable. This, most of all, is what makes me proud to call you my friend. Lawyers dispense advice intended to protect us, but they’re not always concerned with our sense of honor. You’ve followed your lawyer’s advice when you needed to, but drawn the line when it went against who you are. This is the mark of a truly great knight.
You are generous & wise. I have tremendous respect for your desire to ease this transition for your ex in the best way you can. I’ve been inspired by your generosity and by your genuine happiness for his recent success. And it’s clear that you know that despite everything else, your son and his father need one another. Your efforts to ensure they get time together demonstrate your wisdom and reveal your open heart.
You are beautiful. I don’t know whether knights are supposed to be tall, dark, and handsome — if so, it would be tough to describe you as such. But I can say that you are a beautiful woman inside and out. In times like this it can be difficult to remember that, but I want to make sure you don’t forget it.
The sun will be shining brighter soon enough, you’ll see. In the meantime, if you need someone to help you polish your armor you know where to find me.
Cheering you on with love, Mylilhurricane
